Complacency in Relationships.

P31thirty

Nico Meyers & Tiara Ruano
September 04, 2024

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Today we are covering:

What is Complacency?

In this section, we cover how complacency—when comfort leads to neglect—can cause resentment, conflict, and lost intimacy in relationships.

What Are the Dangers of Complacency?

In this section, we explore how complacency leads to resentment, poor communication, and fading intimacy, potentially causing deep harm to the relationship.

What is complacency?

“According to Webster’s dictionary, complacency is described as “self-satisfaction, especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies.”

In the Bible, God considers complacency to be foolish and dangerous.

Proverbs 1:32 states,
“For the waywardness of the simple will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them.”

In Layman’s terms, complacency means being so comfortable with a situation or habit that we don’t put any effort into making positive changes.

Do you see how that can be DANGEROUS to a relationship?

We ignore potential future consequences, even when we know changes are necessary or a situation needs fixing. Instead of trying to improve things, it’s human nature to do what feels most comfortable and convenient.

This can be a scary place to find yourself in.

In a relationship, complacency can manifest in several ways, but I want to focus on three for now.

Before I dive in, I want to preface this by saying that it’s good to be content with what you have. However, complacency and contentment are different.

What the Bible Says About Contentment:

1 Timothy 6:6-8 (NIV) says,
“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.”

So, being content is good and pleasing to God.

The Key Differences Between Complacency and Contentment:

• Complacency often implies a lack of ambition or concern, which can lead to stagnation.

• Contentment implies a healthy acceptance and gratitude for the present, while still being open to growth and improvement.

Again, contentment is biblical. But what can happen with complacency is:

• Feelings of resentment and underappreciation

• Difficulty resolving conflicts

• The erosion of intimacy

Now, to dive deeper into this, let’s go over each challenge individually in the second section of this newsletter.

What are the dangers of complacency?

Here’s a deeper dive into the dangers of complacency that we specifically mentioned above:

1. Feelings of Resentment and Underappreciation: In a relationship, this can manifest as one partner feeling resentful because their efforts and contributions are going unnoticed and unacknowledged. This can breed negative feelings and a sense of being unvalued.

For example, the partner who takes care of the home or supports the family financially may start to feel like their efforts are being completely overlooked by their spouse. If one partner consistently fails to contribute to the relationship’s development due to complacency, the other may feel unappreciated, leading to resentment.

2. Difficulty Resolving Conflicts: This issue arises when meaningful conversations are neglected. Such conversations are essential for working through disagreements and conflicts in a healthy, productive way. When neglected, issues can become bottled up.

Complacent behavior often results in poor communication, making it difficult to resolve conflicts effectively.

3. Erosion of Intimacy: Without intentional quality time together, a married couple’s emotional, physical, and sexual intimacy can slowly erode. This distance can make the relationship feel increasingly stale and disconnected.

Emotional, physical, and sexual intimacy are deeply intertwined; when one area starts to deteriorate, it can have a cascading effect on the others. Without intentional efforts to nurture these dimensions of the relationship, the bond can become stale, distant, and devoid of the vitality that once characterized the partnership.

But alas, there is still hope…

And we will be discussing that hope in next week’s newsletter,

“Complacency in Relationships Part 2”

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